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Are Your Headlines Pushing Your Ideal Clients Away?

Words are important. In real life they’re super important and online they rule supreme. As the first thing someone sees on a website, the words you use can either entice someone to take action, or push them away. Many times the words we use are well meaning, however an easy misintepretaton can quickly turn readers off and send them to the competition.

Find out how to easily write powerful headlines and benefit bullets that spur action rather than pushing your potential clients away.

I was recently helping an entrepreneur with his website and immediately noticed the following copy directly under the headline:

Learning [removed] is easier than you think, anyone can learn to speak and hold a conversation.

What do you think the problem is with this sentence?

If you said it’s actually two sentences you’d be right, but that’s not it. If you said the second part of the sentence is incomplete, you’d also be correct however that’s not what I’m getting at.

The problem is this – by saying “easier than you think” you are presupposing that the person reading this sentence thinks it’s hard. But what about the people who have no idea if it’s hard or easy? If I landed on this site and had no idea of what I was getting to and saw that sentence, I would automatically assume it’s going to be hard. This makes me much less inclined to contact the service provider.

In short, this sentence, though well meaning, is turning potential clients away. Not good.

A Better Course Of Action

Writing landing pages is part art, part science, and an above average amount of testing. However, if you have testimonials from current clients it’s made much easier. Here’s what you do.

  1. Gather up all of the testimonials from your clients.
  2. Print them out and stick them up on a wall side by side
  3. Read all of them out loud from start to finish
  4. Go back and read them again with a highlighter, highlighting benefits mentioned
  5. Write a list of all the benefits

Your most powerful benefit can be made into a headline followed by a list of the other benefits. Here’s the key: use the language your clients used. Don’t get fancy and start making up words. You have gold here! These testimonials come from people that definitely spent money on you.

Beats the hell out of guessing doesn’t it?

Comments

  1. You are SO right … I see a lot of people writing headlines that assumes a negative of the reader … quite off-putting and sometimes just downright patronising! 

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